what doesn't kill you makes you neurotic

I'd forgotten I have a  blog.

Since my last entry, I: 

• Trekked up a volcano. 
• Developed an irrational, paralyzing fear of water.
• Rode an elephant.
• Celebrated at a friend's wedding.
• Discovered Vietnamese coffee.
• Lost, kept, and made friends.
• Had the most amazing cupcake I've ever tasted in my life.
• Swam in crystal clear waters.
• Switched careers.
• Lost my father.
• Shared a romantic kiss at midnight, but (fortunately) it was just a harmless infatuation.
• Thought I was just casually dating someone, but (unfortunately) it was soul-stirring love.
• Saw a 2,000 year old Roman aqueduct.
• Unknowingly devoured a plateful of bull's testicles.
• Bought fruit using sign language at a floating market.
• Barely recognize the girl who wrote the previous entries 3 years ago.

Extreme highs and extreme lows.  However, experience, especially bad ones, can alter how we see the world and how we see ourselves.  The past three years have changed me in ways big and small --  I now am little less idealistic, a little more practical.  A little less forgiving, a little more impatient.  A little less hopeful, a little more cynical. 

"The conscious brain can only handle one thought at a time.  Choose a positive thought."

Easier said than done. After a while, one finds a sense of peace in chaos, a sense of enjoyment in misery.  The older we get, the more aware we are of the choices that are available to us, and more importantly the consequences of our decisions.  The youthful mantra of "Do or Die" no longer becomes our battlecry.  Things get much more complicated because now, we actually take the time to do a cost-benefit analysis of every single action because we "know" more about the world.

But do we really?  Is age directly proportional to wisdom?  We question everything because we think that since we've been through so much already, we are able to foresee exactly how things will play out.  We assume that, based on previous experience, we will be able automatically deduce if and when things are statistically bound to fail.

But what if we're WRONG?  That's a damn big "what if".

Maybe, just maybe, life still has a few good surprises in store for us. And more shockingly, we might still have the ability to surprise ourselves.

So today, I promise to choose positive thoughts.  Even if my logical, analytic brain and unromantic heart tell me otherwise.

the sound of silence

More often than not, when I get a message from one of my friends in the middle of the week asking me to meet up for coffee or a drink, it's because they need a sounding board for whatever's bothering them.  I'm pretty open minded so they know I would never judge them.  I take it to mean that I'm a pretty good listener.

Lately though, I've noticed that I talk more and listen less.  This, coupled my with my lack of impulse control/gung-ho attitude, leads to a few cringe-worthy moments, especially when it comes to my personal life.

"Listen, listen, listen and then ask strategic questions."

Silence is underrated.  Maybe if I follow this particular rule, life would be a lot less complicated.

chasing pavements

"The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness."

"You said it, bubba" -- that pretty much sum up everything I have to say about this particular line in the manifesto.

Seriously though, I've been giving this a lot of thought the past few days. It's not happiness per se that is difficult to achieve, it's letting go of the illusions we have about the things that we THINK will bring us happiness. Expectations are rarely met, people we put on pedestals come crashing down. We keep on chasing that impossible dream, not realizing we're already living the dream.

So what is left to do but to live in the moment? Stop and smell those proverbial roses. Eat a box of chocolate-covered marshmallows. Laugh with a friend. Happiness is in the here and now.

water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink

So goes Cooleridge's ancient mariner when he was stuck in the middle of the ocean, but since I am comfortably ensconced on land, it shouldn't be a problem for me to follow the first manfiesto rule which is --

"Drink fresh water and as much water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp."

I used to only drink 2 glasses of water a day, one before I left the house, and another before I go to bed. The rest of the day, I either drink soda (regular, none of that zero percent sugar s***), juice, or ignore my thirst. While the term "as much as you can" is a subjective one, I don't think 2 glasses qualify.

Water IS important. From a biological standpoint, it is essential because it plays a role in various key processes of the body from temperature regulation to detoxification of cells. It's just difficult to keep this in mind when you're in the middle of a work day and there are a lot of other things that you'd rather do instead of standing up, walking 10 steps to the water cooler, grabbing a glass, filling it with water, drinking, and then walking another 10 steps back to your desk. It's exhausting just thinking about it right? So do what I do -- bring a water bottle to work, put it on your desk and sip away!

Get a reusable water bottle, it's much better for the environment. I love my SIGG water bottle. It's lightweight, leak-proof (I just throw it in into my bag every morning without even worrying the contents soaking anything), and it doesn't cause your water to have a yucky after-taste that usually goes hand in hand with a re-used PET bottle.

Cheers!

________________________________
SIGG Water Bottles, available at Aura Athletica, R1 Level Power Plant Mall, Rockwell. For more info, go to www.sigg.com.

the lululemon manifesto

man·i·fes·to

A public declaration of principles, policies, or intentions.

When people first meet me and find out that I manage a yoga wear store, they usually assume the following things:

1. I'm a vegan.
2. I practice yoga daily.
3. I live a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

Unfortunately, it only takes a few minutes for me to pop their imaginary bubble because:

1. I am what my friends call a "meatatarian", a person who loves steak/hotdogs/bacon so much that "carnivore" is too feeble a word to describe my eating habits.
2. I love yoga. I really do. But the only time I have to practice it is early in the morning and I value sleep much more than I do exercise.
3. If you call not eating regular meals, imbibing copious amounts of scotch on weekends, and putting as much sugar as I can into my daily cup of coffee, then yes, I do live a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

Or not.

I admit, I don't exactly set a good example. I am a typical girl young enough to still feel invincible but old enough to realize that I couldn't get away with it forever. So, I decided to look to the Lululemon manifesto for inspiration.

Most of the things in the list can be easily followed. How difficult could it be? I guess I'll find out soon enough.